Pour a little salt in that wound...

One of the steps of getting back out there was working on the transformation from Sloth Janelle to Everyday, Pretty Janelle.  Sloth Janelle emerged as a by-product of dealing with my emotional baggage.  I had been so busy doing the work of getting my emotional house back in order that my physical person was ignored.  I was still a clean person who dressed appropriately enough for work but that was about it.  Hair was left undone; most of the contents of my make-up bag collected dust and FORGET about leg hair removal.  (I am compelled to remind you that living in Buffalo, NY an extra layer of hair during the winter can much provide needed warmth.) 

As I healed and contemplated going out on the town with real, live men, I realized that this girl needed some work.   Slowly and over time I rediscovered just how fun it was to be cute and sassy.  My new cut and highlights helped and so did the guidance of my friends who used tough love.   They forced me to buy new and attractive clothing when all I wanted was to visit the Yogun Fruz stand and call it a day. Did I mention that I am a lucky girl? The basics (new haircut, a sassy skirt or two, and the desire to no longer look like a member of the clergy) came relatively easy.  At the same time, I fell in love with the website, The Hairpin .  If you haven’t seen it before, check it out now!  No, right NOW!  See, wasn’t that great?! They have a fantastic column by Jane Marie entitled “How to Be a Girl.”  Jane answers beauty questions and demonstrates cool make up tips.  It’s geared for intelligent and funny women and it is completely fantastic.  Jane answered a question about sunless tanner and wrote a very detailed description of a product that she loves and how to best use it.  I thought to myself “this is just what I need!  I’ll spruce myself up and look tanned, healthy and gorgeous in just one night!”  Fabulous!  I bought the recommended spray sun less tanner and followed her instructions TO THE LETTER. Or so I thought, ready to wake up looking tan and glorious.  I was on my way to a more confident tomorrow!  Watch out Buffalo!  

Morning comes and I begin to prepare for the day.  Blurry eyed, I glance down at my arm and notice a small streak…hmmm.  I look at my other arm to find a larger, more pronounced streak. Uh oh.  Then I notice my legs covered in alternating racer stripes of pale skin and burnt orange! FUCK! I take off my shirt to inspect the rest of the damage.  My shoulders looked like victims of a cruel finger painting accident.  I looked like I had a pigmentation disorder.   Blurgh!  In the shower, I use the loofah within an inch of my life but it was no use.   I was still a streaky mess.   Thankfully, pants and long sleeves cover most of the damage but my ego was still bruised.   Friends at work (I am so lucky to work with wonderful friends!) informed me that a solution of lemon juice and kosher salt should do the trick.  The next morning, I scrubbed with said solution for a FULL 15 minutes before my skin began to its typical hue.  Take a moment and consider this length of time.  15 minutes.  Scrubbing my arms and legs with what is essentially chicken marinade.  I felt like a Morton Salt Girl who lost her umbrella. Oy Vey. 

With this in mind, today’s recipe is a lovely roast chicken.  Thomas Keller’s to be precise.  What makes this roast chicken so special is that it always produces a beautiful, mostly even brown skin.  

Thomas Keller’s Favorite Simple Roast Chicken

One 2-3 lb chicken (Mr. Keller specifies a farm raised chicken. I say go for the best you can find, whatever that may be.  )

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

Note the even, brown color the skin.
This is one confident chicken.  

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.  Rinse chicken, then dry it inside and out with paper towels.  The idea is to get the chicken as dry as possible.  Any water left on the chicken will create steam once in the oven.  The less steam, the crispier the skin.  Add salt and pepper to the cavity.  Truss the chicken.  Don’t know how?  Here’s how.  If you don’t want to truss, that’s cool, it but helps the bird cook more evenly.  If you’ll notice, I chose not to truss because I am lazy. 

Salt the outside of the chicken by raining 1 tablespoon of salt over the whole chicken.  Season with a few grinds of fresh pepper.  Place chicken in roasting pan till done, 50-60 minutes.   Remove from oven and let the bird rest for 15 minutes before carving.  To make the white meat extra delicious, slather it with melted butter (!) before serving.  Serve immediately and enjoy.  Be sure to serve everyone some of the extra delicious, ultra crispy brown skin.  Or keep it all to yourself.   Serves 2-4.