Chocolate soothes the savage beast

So the world of online dating can be a useful tool for modern folks to meet possible suitors.  Some of my best friends have met their partners online.  It is also a terrifying nightmare full of pitfalls and mixed signals.  Also, I should probably stress that I’m not very good at dating.  I lack the patience and general “devil may care” attitude possessed by successful daters.  Though who these people are, I’m not sure.     Dating activates my crazy.  My obsessive tendencies and low self-esteem light up light up like a Vegas skyline when presented with anything more complicated than “Do you like me? Circle Yes or No.”  Add to this the anxiety re-entering the dating world after six years and you have a full-on mess in a dress.    Even in the some of the worst times of my relationship, I took comfort in the fact that at least I was no longer “out there.”  I’d look over at my ex during yet another argument think, “well…the devil you know…”  The truth is your partner should not just be a shield from the single life and even mature and fabulous dogs can learn new tricks.  But these are the lessons learned after many, many months of life in the online dating jungle.  Let’s harken back to that first venture out of doors with an actual, real live man since the end of my old life.  I was so nervous I was convinced I would throw up on my shoes the moment he said hello.  I wanted to back out, to seek refuge on the couch with a chicken finger sub.   I decided not to cancel.  This first date had to happen at some point and Jim’s Steak Out is open late.  In retrospect, it was the perfect starter date.  He was like the slow pitch softball of the dating world.  Though he was kind and gracious, I could immediately tell that I didn’t like him in that way.  He apparently did not feel the same way about me and though he was very sweet, kept pushing topics I so desperately wanted to avoid—ever been married?  Why did you return to Buffalo?  Worst break up?    UGH!

Earlier in the day my friends and I decided that as long as didn’t feel “stranger danger”, a mere 55 minutes was an appropriate length of time to spend.  You should, at that point, have a clear enough vision of a person to decide if you want to see them again, and possibly share some food.  After that point, it would be totally acceptable to bolt for my car, hurtling for comfort of my pajamas and chocolate cake.  I only lasted 40.  Navigating the veritable minefield of topics left me exhausted.  At one point I actually “jokingly” yelled at him “We are moving on from this!  I don’t want to talk about it anymore!”  Attractive.  What could be better than a first date that yells and runs away from you as soon as she can see the outline of her car in the dusky distance?  

That date didn't go so well.  There were other dates, none were fantastic, but some were better than others.  What is for certain is that any evening that ends in chocolate cake isn't so bad.  With that in mind, I share my favorite chocolate cake recipe, the very same cake I devoured the second I burst through my door at home.  It's (minimally) adapted from Nigella Lawson, from her book Nigella Bites 

Enjoy! 


Cake:
2 and 2/3 all purpose flour
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 packed light brown sugar
1/4 cup cocoa powder
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
3 eggs
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoon sour cream 
1 tablespoon vanilla
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1/2 vegetable oil
1 1/3 cup chilled water


Frosting:
6 oz Ghirardelli chocolate chips
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
2 heaping tablespoons sour cream
1 3/4  cups powdered sugar, sifted
1 tablespoon vanilla extract.  


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Butter and line the bottom of two 8 inch cake pans.  In a large bowl, mix together the flour, sugars, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt.  In another bowl, whisk together the eggs, sour cream and vanilla until blended.  Using Mixmaster (Aww yeah!) or by hand beat together the melted butter and oil till just blended then beat in the water.  Add the dry ingredients all at once and mix together on a slow speed.  Add the egg mixture and mix again till everything is blended.  Pour into prepared pans.  Bake in the center of the over for 45-50 minutes till cake tester comes out clean.  Cool on wire racks for 15 minutes in pans and then turn cakes onto racks to cool completely.  


To make frosting, melt the chocolate in a double boiler and let cool slightly.  Beat the butter till it is creamy, approx 2 minutes, add the sour cream  and then the sifted powdered sugar.  Beat again until it is light and fluffy.  Gently add the vanilla and chocolate until it is smooth and glossy. Frost cooled cakes and devour :)