First things first, an introduction

So this blog is a about what can happen when the life you think you are going to lead changes.  Drastically.    I’m a smart, fun loving young woman who found her life turned upside down.  I was supposed marry my long time love, move to a wealthy suburb of a Boston, Chicago or the like and raise multi lingual children.   We were going to be a happy, loving couple who dealt with life’s ups and downs together.  Um, well, not so much.  Looooong, tumultuous story short, things soured between my love and me and I eventually found myself and most of my earthly goods racing back to Buffalo, NY, back to the open and warm embrace of my hometown, my wonderful friends and my amazing family.   

Back in the Queen City, I nursed my wounds.  With the help of my family and friends, I finally stopped crying, remembered who I am and discovered how to find joy in the every day.  And now, the new challenge is getting back out there—dating and navigating the murky world of the opposite sex.   Now, let me stress that I am a lucky, LUCKY girl.  This is not a place to complain about the gifts I have been given—people who love me, lovely shelter, and gainful employment.  Rather, this is about chronicling learning how to persevere, being brave, re-discovering my sass, and stepping back into the terrifying/frustrating and even fun world of dating. 

When my former love and I first met, I hadn’t really dated all that much and he and I almost immediately feel into a comfortable pattern.  After three dates, we were an item.  He was interesting and exotic with a bright future ahead of him.  I was hooked and not interested in playing the field.  Six years and one seemingly never-ending break up later, my self-esteem was ragged.   Developing the nerve to meet and actually sit across from a potential suitor for longer than 35 second seemed impossible.  The mere thought made me come unglued.  Also I could not, COULD NOT, stop talking about my ex and our break up.  I told new co-workers, waitresses, fellow Wegman’s shoppers--basically anyone coherent and within earshot.  Not to mention the endless litany directed at my inner circle.  Yep.  I was a mess, but it was all a part of the healing process. 

Eventually, I stopped talking about it all the time, stopped thinking about it all the time and one day, my break up stopped being the thing that defined this part of my life.  It became part of my past, not my right now.  I remembered FUN!  I cooked and ate and danced and laughed!  I felt pretty and smart! And while my friends are wonderful people who keep my social calendar very full, I decided that at some point I would need to get back into the dating game, or Friday nights watching NCIS marathons were going to my reality for the foreseeable future.  (Nothing against NCIS, I would totally go out with DiNozzo.)  Despite the fact that my friends and I went places and met people, none of them were straight, available men.  I needed to take matters into my own hands.