Surprise!

What we didn't get for Christmas

Just about the worst thing you can do to me is tell me you have a surprise headed my way. Immediately after this occurs, my mind begins to race with possibilities, one of which will ALWAYS be a puppy.  ALWAYS.  And I am not alone. We recently celebrated my brother's 28th birthday and while ripping open a box, he looked over at me and asked, "Is it a puppy?"  It's genetic.   From the moment I hear "I have a surprise for you" to the moment I'm actually opening said surprise my mind is darting around, from one highly unlikely gift to the next.  "Is it a puppy?  A trip Madrid?  Oooh, I know, my own cheese cave?!?  Oh, a tin of lovingly handcrafted cookies,  I guess that's nice too." 

I am the worst.  

When I was in college, my mother would gleefully inform me she had "put a little surprise in the mail" and I would spend two to three days concocting ideas befitting a third world dictator.  I would think "Hmm, maybe she just sent the dog TAGS through the mail?  The actual puppy will be waiting for me the next time I'm home? Can you airmail a live animal?"  And of course, a tin of delightful and charming cookies would arrive in my mailbox, packed with love and made especially for me.  I small wave of disapointment (no puppy?!) would wash over me but then I would remember that I was lucky and loved and then I would proceed to eat the entire contents of the box.  Yay Mom and yay college!  Did I mention I am the worst?

This Christmas season, my bad habit struck again.  My immediate family gathered to decorate the tree. As we ate some pre-tree pizza, my mom announced she had a surprise for us.  (You would think she would have learned by this point) Immediately the four of us began shouting out ideas.  At once and in unison, my siblings and I blurted out "Is it a puppy?"   We began shouting out alternate ideas,"Matching IPad's? A trip to our German and Italian homelands?"  Uh, no, my parent shook their heads, for some reason taken aback by our wild guessing game.  
My sister's boyfriend raised the possibility of matching track suits. (He has more reasonable high expectations than the rest of us.)  Maybe it was the several pints of craft beer but my siblings and I LOVED this idea!  The discussion took off like a bat out of Guido fashion hell!  It had to be matching track suits!  How could it not be!  In maroon velour for that extra Guido touch!  My mother stared at us in disbelief. What the hell were we talking about?  I could tell by the look on her face that our surprise probably wasn't matching velour track suits but it mattered not.  We were loving the ride. 

Beloved Beaker

When it came time to open our real surprise, we discovered it was a most perfect gift.  An Beaker ornament that plays Ode to Joy.  We love the Muppets and Beaker is a family favorite.   Yet again, yay Mom!   Next year though, it WILL be a very track suit Christmas.

I debated which recipe to include for this entry.  I can often be heard repeating a sentiment first coined by my aunt--"I hate to be surprised by a raisin." I like my raisins to be upfront and in your face, except when it comes to rice pudding, when I like my raisins non existent. So here's to banishing surprises!  (not really.)  I bring you Nigella Lawson's Stovetop Rice Pudding for Emergencies.  This recipe comes is from Nigella Bites, which incidentally is one of my very favorite cookbooks on the planet.  Her cookbooks read like prose and she is generally a dream.  


2 3/4 cups whole milk
1 heaping TB unsalted butter
2-3 TB sugar
1/4 arborio rice
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
2-3 TB heavy cream. 


She instructs to think of this as a sweet risotto.  Heat the milk in a pan than has a lip.  When it is just about to boil (do not let it boil) turn off the heat.  In a different, heavy based pan, melt the butter and a TB of sugar.  She writes "when hissing away in a glorious play caramelly pool, add the rice and stir to coat stickily."  (is that not genius?) Gradually add the milk, stirring the rice all the time, and letting the milk become absorbed before adding more.  You will see the rice gradually swell throughout the milk-adding process.  Start tasting after about 20 minutes, but it may take as long as 35.  When the rice feels thick and creamy, take it off the heat and add another TB of sugar, the vanilla and as much cream as you like.  Serves 1.